Three Cigars
by cyberimp6
Summary: History is changed for the worse, and it's up to Tenchi's gang to change it back. TU continuity.
1. Unwelcome Changes

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" were created by Kajishima Masaki and Hitoshi Okuda, and are Copyright AIC and Pioneer LDC. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Foreword: This story is set in the Tenchi Universe continuum, some time after the events of "Tenchi Muyo In Love".

**Three Cigars**

_Who controls the past controls information.  
Who controls information controls decisions.  
Who controls decisions controls the future._

_--George Orwell_

"Timeline corruption!" Washu came charging out of the door under the stairs. "Into the lab, everybody!"

The Masaki family, by now experienced with sudden crises, reacted instantly. Ryoko zoomed over to Tenchi, laid a hand on each shoulder, and teleported them both to safety. Sasami set down the tray of rice crackers she had been carrying, and dashed for the doorway with Ryo-Ohki hanging on top of her head. Mihoshi leaped leaped up from the couch, headed after Sasami, tripped and planted her face on the tatami matting. Anticipating just such an event, Kiyone and Ayeka swooped in to either side, grabbed an arm apiece, and hustled the blonde into the lab. Kiyone then dropped the arm she held and swung the lab door shut behind them.

"What about Yosho, and my guardians?," Ayeka asked anxiously, as she lowered Mihoshi by her other arm.

"And my Dad?" asked Tenchi. "I know he's at work, but--"

"I'm sorry, there's just not enough time." Washu's fingers were running over the controls of her holographic keyboard. "We'll have to wait until the timeline stabilizes." The glowing yellow mesh of the time-shield went up over the walls of the lab.

It seemed to Tenchi that the next two minutes were like being in a submarine hunted by invisible destroyers. There were ominous noises as the world outside the lab was re-arranged, and several times the yellow mesh seemed to pulse as though something were trying to get through. Washu scanned her instruments intently, while everyone else watched and listened.

Finally, everything was quiet. Most of the group relaxed, seeing that no one had changed or disappeared. But, Washu's face looked grimmer than ever.

"There are major changes outside." The genius scientist announced. "I can't get a fix on the origin of the timeline change, but it's clearly had a tremendous effect. The house looks like it's back to the ruin it was after Kain's attack. Radio traffic is much less than normal. The Internet as we know it is gone. And from what I'm getting, Japan is at war."

"War?" Tenchi echoed. "With who?"

"I don't know yet; I've just been able to pick up blackout orders for the cities." A new set of lights glowed on her control panel. "Uh-oh. We're about to have visitors. There's a group of three men headed towards the house. Ayeka, you're the closest to a traditional Japanese woman, I think you'd better go and see what they want. Ryoko, cover her, but keep out of sight."

"Roger." For once, Ryoko was willing to take orders, since she knew how dangerous time alterations could be.

Ayeka hastily gathered up her hair. "Do you have a scarf I could borrow, Lady Washu?"

"Good idea." Washu opened a sub-space hole and produced a length of dark blue silk. Ayeka took the cloth and tied it over her head, concealing her violet-colored tresses. Walking over to the door, Ayeka straightened her dress, then opened it and stepped through.

It was as bad as she'd feared. The house had plainly been abandoned for years. The furniture was gone, most of the window frames were empty, and dust lay on every surface. It was hard to believe this was the clean and cheerful home they had left just minutes before. Ryoko emerged behind her, and Ayeka heard the other's sharp intake of breath. Then there was the hum of displacing air, and Ayeka knew that Ryoko had teleported into hiding.

A few moments later, there was a voice from just outside the front door. "We are from the Imperial Army! Is anyone here?" The voice was harsh, as if accustomed to being obeyed.

"Yes, I am here." Ayeka answered quickly. "One moment, please." She hurried to the front door, or rather where the front door used to be. Just beyond the doorway were three men dressed in military uniforms, but not those of the Japanese Self-Defense Force. Their outfits looked much like the uniforms of World War II.

"I am Lieutenant Ichiki," the lead man announced. "Who are you, and what is your business here?"

From years of political and diplomatic maneuvering, Ayeka had her story ready. "Greetings to you, gentlemen. I am Aiko Masaki." She had chosen a more common Japanese name so as to invite as little suspicion as possible. "I was sent by the branch of the Masaki clan in Nagoya, to see what became of the members of the family in Okayama. But it seems clear that no one has lived in this house for years." She moved aside to let the soldiers see the interior of the house. "Can you tell me anything of the Masaki's that used to live here?"

She met the eyes of the patrol as appealingly as she could, but every man shook his head. "Strange." The lieutenant said. "We have word that a young man is evading military service by hiding in this area."

"Oh! I hope he is no relative of mine." Ayeka managed to cover her surprise. "Do you know anything about his name?"

"We have no information about that,." Said said the lieutenant. Ayeka's shoulders sagged. She had been hoping for some clue as to what had happened. "It seems that both our searches are in vain. Come, we will escort you back to town."

Ayeka thought quickly. "Thank you for your offer. B, but I cannot return to my clan without having done my utmost. I will look for any old letters that may indicate where my kin may have gone. If I should find any signs of a draft dodger I will report to the army post in town."

"You know your duty, like a true daughter of Japan." The lieutenant gave her a formal bow. "Should you meet this young man, tell him it will be better if he comes in voluntarily. Otherwise, he will be assigned to a Special Attack unit." He turned on his heel. "Squad, march!"

Ayeka stood in the doorway for a little while, giving a polite wave as the patrol moved off. Then she turned, and started a quick search of the inside of the house. Her idea about old letters was worth following up. After a few minutes, she found a drawer in the kitchen that was stuck shut. "Ryoko." She called in a low voice. "Can you help me with this, please?"

Ryoko phased in through the ceiling. "Nice job with those Army guys, Ayeka." She said in an equally quiet voice. "But what's a Special Attack unit?"

"It was the official military term for the Kamikaze squadrons." Ayeka answered grimly. "Evidently Washu was right about Japan being at war."

"We've got trouble." Ryoko nodded. "Okay, what did you want from me?"

"I want to see what's in this drawer." Ayeka pointed. "It might help us find out what's happened to change the timeline so much."

Ryoko took hold of the handle and gave an experimental tug. "Feels like it's warped into place." She set her feet and pulled more seriously. With a screech of splintering wood, the drawer came out. Several old and yellowed pieces of paper were visible, but Ryoko focused for the moment on whether the noise had been heard.

It had. There was the sound of a safety catch being clicked off. "Blaster!" Ryoko shouted, and threw herself against Ayeka, moving them both away from the sound. An energy beam came through the kitchen window, just missing the two and blowing a hole in the opposite wall. Ayeka and Ryoko separated and dove for cover like the combat veterans they were. For a few seconds they crouched low and listened intently. Ryoko's ears picked up movement outside the house. She silently pointed towards the door to the vegetable storage shed, indicating their attacker would try to come in that way.

But what came through the door was a gray object about the size of a closed fist. _Flash-bang grenade!_ Ryoko reacted instantly. She leaped forward, shielding Ayeka, and closed her eyes the instant before the grenade went off. Still, she was hurled across the kitchen, momentarily deafened and stunned.

The attacker charged through the door moments later, holding a blaster carbine cradled against his hip. Ayeka was now on her feet, shielding Ryoko as the ex-space-pirate had shielded her. The princess had just time to see that the intruder was wearing a similar uniform to the three-man patrol she had spoken to, but he was a Wau instead of a human. Then the blaster fired, and her force-field gave off a pulse of light as it absorbed the beam.

"You're only delaying things, Princess Ayeka." The Wau leveled his blaster, and turned a control near the barrel.

Ayeka stared at the Wau's face. "Operative A??"

"No. He died a failure." The Wau sneered. "But I will succeed in my mission. Tell the welcoming committee in Hell you were sent there by Operative B." He fired again, this time with a continuous stream of energy.

Ayeka's shield held it, but she could feel the strain. In a short time, the blaster beam would break through. "Why are you doing this?" She demanded. "Wau and Jurai are at peace!"

"The peace of submission!" The Wau snarled. "But with the Jurai Royal Family and its foul Jurai power gone, the Wau will take their rightful place and lead the galaxy!"

"Rightful? Because you are predators, you are above the rest? But your own leaders have disavowed that belief!" Ayeka tried to make it seem as if she were trying to talk her enemy out of his attack. In truth, she could see the fanaticism in his eyes, and knew that her only chance was to fight back somehow. She tried to gather some of her power for an attack, while still holding her force-field. It was a risky gamble at best, she knew.

"They are wrong!" Operative B shouted over the roar of his blaster. "No one can deny the natural order of things forev--"

But the energy beam that struck his weapon came from Ryoko, not Ayeka. The princess' tactics had bought her the seconds she needed to recover. The Wau staggered backwards, the beam from his blaster stopping instantly. Ayeka's arms shook in relief as the assault on her shield halted.

The next instant, however, a red light came on at the top of the Wau's blaster, and a high-pitched whine began to build inexorably. Ryoko realized what was happening and yelled, "Ayeka! Quick, put your shield around him!"

Comprehension dawned on Operative B and Ayeka at the same instant. But Ayeka was already using her shield, and the Wau had to take a moment to change his grip on his weapon. Even as he brought his arm back to throw, the force-field flickered into existence around him. The blaster left his hands, for one instant on a trajectory towards Ayeka, and then hit the unyielding wall and exploded. Even outside of the shield, there was a thunderclap and a searing burst of light.

Slowly Ayeka lowered her arms, and the force-field shimmered back out of existence. On a blackened circle of the kitchen floor, there was nothing left but charred fragments and twisted scraps of metal. Even Ryoko stared for a few heartbeats.

"Good reflexes, Ayeka." Ryoko finally managed.

"Thank you." Ayeka's throat was dry. "Do you think anyone else heard?"

"I'll scout around. I think we're all right, though -- that flash was inside the house, and we're in a valley." She turned to go.

"Ryoko." Ayeka hesitated just a moment before continuing. "I'm very grateful for what you did. I wouldn't have thought that you would fight so hard to save my life."

Ryoko gave her a cocky smile. "We may have our differences, princess, but when I say I'll cover someone, it's a promise. Besides, it was likely he who tipped the patrol that a 'young man' was around here. I don't forgive people who try to get Tenchi killed." With that, she teleported to the roof.

Ayeka looked back at the remains on the floor with a grimace. Washu was going to want something to analyze.

--------

"You couldn't have captured him alive?" Washu protested. The charred pieces of metal, bone, and cloth did not seem to bother her a bit, although Tenchi, Sasami, and Mihoshi all had queasy expressions on their faces.

"It was his idea to over-drive his blaster." Ryoko answered. "We're lucky nobody noticed."

"I wouldn't call us lucky just yet." Washu shook her head. "The timeline has been badly altered, and we don't know how to change it back. It's a good bet that Operative B traveled into the past, changed history somehow, and then came back to make sure Tenchi, Ayeka, and Yosho were eliminated. But since we don't know what he did, we don't even know where or when to start."

"He wouldn't have talked even if he hadn't been killed." Ryoko countered.

"Do you really think he could have held out on me?" Washu glared at the ex-space-pirate.

"But, Lady Washu," Ayeka tried to be diplomatic, "haven't you been able to track the time changes? After Kain's attack on Tenchi's mother, you were eventually able to narrow down the place and time."

"Not this time." Washu was still irritated. "I still can't detect any significant events. Whatever Operative B did was extraordinarily subtle. He didn't kill anyone -- that would have registered. He didn't introduce any new technology, either. The technology level in this new timeline is less than it used to be. It's like an airplane going into a fog bank and then returning after a while. There are no disturbances to show where or when he went to."

"I see your point," Tenchi tried to mollify the red-headed genius in turn. "But maybe we can start with what we know. What's happened to us in the new timeline?"

"That's a fair question." Washu conceded. "This planet's communications have been changed, but I've been able to access a Galaxy Police beacon. It looks like Ayeka returned to Jurai, and eventually married a nobleman from one of the other powerful Juraian families. Here's a picture from the wedding." The image appeared in mid-air in front of the group.

"Yuck -- pink hair?!" Ryoko patted Ayeka's shoulder. Ayeka looked appalled.

"With Ayeka married off, the Masaki family is concentrating on training Sasami. She's apparently been sent off to an elite boarding school. Something about kitchens not being suitable for princesses."

"They won't let me cook anymore?" Sasami cried.

"Sure looks that way." Washu said grimly.

"What about me?" Ryoko asked, her face looking more and more anxious.

"You're in the Geldar prison asteroid, serving a 290-year sentence. You could get a century off for good behavior, but your behavior hasn't been that good." Washu read the symbols on her holo-display.

"_I was captured?_" Ryoko's voice went up nearly an octave. "How? Who? It must have been Nagi, pulling some kind of double-cross--"

"Nope." Washu interrupted. "According to this, it was Mihoshi."

"I did?" beamed Mihoshi.

"_She did??_" Ryoko and Kiyone yelled together.

"It does seem remarkable--" began Washu.

"More like unthinkable!" Ryoko burst out.

"Or inconceivable!" Kiyone added.

"Hmmm . . . " Washu studied her screen intently. "It seems when Ryoko crashed here, she didn't regain consciousness before Mihoshi found her. Mihoshi attempted to treat her injuries, and ended up putting her into a coma for a month. After Ayeka took them back to a GP command post, Mihoshi was promoted, and Kiyone was made her assistant."

"WHAT??" Kiyone practically screamed.

"At least we got to stay together." Mihoshi tried to point out the bright side. Somehow, Kiyone was not cheered.

"There's no record of me," Washu went on, "so the odds are very good I'm still sealed inside that confounded crystal in the cave. That means I need to be very careful leaving the lab. The physical proximity increases the chances of a time paradox."

"Since the rest of us--or our alternates, anyway--are off the planet, it's safer?" Tenchi asked.

"That's right." Washu nodded.

"But what about you, Tenchi?" Sasami had wiped her eyes and partly recovered from the bad news--unlike Kiyone and Ryoko, who were curling into fetal positions.

"That's the worst of all." Washu said in a bleak voice. "No interference with Ryoko, Mihoshi, or Ayeka, and no sign of the Masaki family for years. It's obvious Tenchi was never born."

"No!" cried several voices together.

Ayeka thought for a moment. "Possibly Yosho left before he could marry and have Achika. The house outside has been deserted for a long time. Perhaps these papers may help." Ayeka handed over the yellowed sheets that Ryoko had helped her find.

"Hmm." Washu leafed carefully through them. "These read like someone was already afraid of a government censor. But it looks very much like World War II never completely ended. The British negotiated a treaty giving them back Singapore and the rest of Malaya, but letting Japan keep much of the "Southern Resource Area" -- that would be modern-day Indonesia--and leaving China to its own devices. Then the Soviet Union went to war over Korea and to support the Communist forces. My best guess is that Katsuhito decided he couldn't live in a warlike country any longer, and left to find a more peaceful land. Probably Tibet, which wasn't invaded by China, since much of China is still controlled by Japan."

"But what about America?" Tenchi asked.

"That's the missing piece, all right." Washu said. "There's nothing in here about the United States. I think it's time to fire up Ryo-Ohki and go on some field trips. The first stop is Pearl Harbor."

( To be continued . . . )


	2. History Lessons

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" were created by Kajishima Masaki and Hitoshi Okuda, and are Copyright AIC and Pioneer LDC. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Foreword: This story is set in the Tenchi Universe continuum, some time after the events of "Tenchi Muyo In Love".

**Three Cigars, Ch. 2**

There was considerable debate over who should go. It was generally agreed that Ryoko would pilot Ryo-Ohki, and remain in stealth mode in the upper atmosphere. That way, while a team of two explored she would be available for any rescues that might be needed. It was also agreed that Mihoshi was not the best person for the team, since her ears were a suspicious shape, and she tended to draw attention to herself. But there the harmony came to an end. Tenchi insisted he should go, since he was the most familiar with Earth societies, and the girls were equally insistent he should stay. He had nearly ceased to exist more than once during the Kain incident, and he was equally absent in the new timeline. There was also the problem of who would have the privilege of going with him if he went, and whether that person could be trusted alone with Tenchi.

Finally it was agreed that Tenchi and Kiyone would go, and Kiyone would carry the portable time-shield with her at all times. Just in case, Washu put all of them one at a time into her Instant Language Imparter so that they could speak English well enough not to arouse suspicion. The genius scientist took the precaution of putting Mihoshi in last, in case something blew up, which it did.

Washu also spent nearly an hour going over the history of the Pearl Harbor raid with Tenchi and Kiyone, so they could look for changes. They waited until nightfall, and then Ryo-Ohki transformed into her space-ship form. Ryoko, Tenchi, and Kiyone went aboard, and Ryoko flew them just at the fringe of the atmosphere to avoid the sonic boom as they raced across the Pacific to Hawaii.

Using her experience, and Ryo-Ohki's stealth mode, to avoid being spotted by radar or people, Ryoko set Tenchi and Kiyone down in the hills outside Honolulu. It took them over an hour to make their way to the waterfront. Once there, however, the changes in the timeline were immediately obvious.

"No doubt about it," Tenchi said, "The _Arizona_ memorial is missing."

"Perhaps it was just moved?" Kiyone suggested.

"No, remember the details Washu gave us?" Tenchi answered. "All of the other battleships were re-floated, but _Arizona's_ hull was shattered too badly when her magazine detonated. Pearl Harbor is too shallow for her to have sunk all the way under the water, so they removed the gun turrets, and built a memorial on top of the hull. If she's not here, it means the Pearl Harbor raid never happened."

"And since Japan and the United States never went to war, Japan was able to keep many of her conquests and remain an empire." Kiyone concluded.

"I'm sure you're on the right track." Tenchi nodded. "Now we need to find out why they didn't go to war."

Kiyone looked around for a moment. "Speaking of the United States, something else is missing."

"What's that?"

"The American flag. I don't see it anywhere." Kiyone pointed to the tallest flagpole she could see. "What's that flag?"

"I've don't think I've ever seen it before." Tenchi shaded his eyes to get a better look. "It's mostly white except for something in the upper corner; there are no red stripes." The breeze strengthened for a few moments and the flag unfurled to its full length. "Now, what's that X-shaped sign where the fifty stars should be?"

Kiyone stared for a moment. "It looks like the 'Stars and Bars', what they called the . . ." She stopped as the realization hit her. "That's got to be the flag of the Confederacy! The South won the American Civil War!"

--------

A few hours later, everyone was re-united inside Washu's lab. Tenchi had nearly disappeared on the hike back to Ryo-Ohki's landing spot, but Kiyone's quick use of Washu's time shield had saved him. Once inside Ryo-Ohki, he seemed to be more stable, but Ryoko had wasted no time returning to Okayama, even making Kiyone radio ahead with what they had found, while she focused on flying. Washu had used the advance information to put together some ideas.

"This makes a lot of sense," Washu said. "With America split into two, their contributions to technology would have been slowed. I've determined the atom bomb was never developed, and my guess is that only the full United States would have the budget to spare for an effort like the Manhattan Project."

"And the public Internet wouldn't have been developed either," added Kiyone. "It would have been more of a military communications system. Actually, systems, since each of the major countries would have developed their own."

"But why would Hawaii be a part of the Confederacy?" Ayeka wondered. "I know it was added after the Civil War."

"It's likely the North and South established separate zones of influence." Washu bent over her holo-keyboard and projected a map for the others to see. "Before the Civil War, there was a compromise line allowing slavery to the south, but prohibiting it to the north. If that had been re-established after the war, most of the Pacific would have been considered in the Confederate zone. However, the Confederacy was more interested in the Caribbean. So, the Japanese Empire didn't clash with either of the American countries."

"Makes sense." Ryoko nodded. "Now all we have to do is figure out how our renegade Wau caused the South to win."

"There we may be in serious trouble." Tenchi said to the rest of the group. "I don't know very much United States history; certainly not before the 20th century."

"Actually, I think we're in a much better situation." Washu replied. "I don't know much more than you do off the top of my head, but my data-banks are another story. I happened to download the Library of Congress a year ago, to study this planet's literature."

"You downloaded the _entire_ U.S. Library of Congress?" Tenchi asked in a strangled voice.

"Uh-huh." Washu nodded. "Pretty impressive for a less-advanced planet like this one. It actually took up twenty-seven percent of one of my memory modules. But it doesn't give me much of a lead on how the South could have won. The North had more men. In fact, far more when you consider a substantial amount of the Southern population were slaves. The Northern economy was much larger than the Southern. There was only one factory in the South capable of casting heavy artillery. They didn't even have enough shoe factories -- a number of the Confederate soldiers had to march barefoot."

"Suppose Operative B brought the South plans for a new weapon?" Kiyone suggested.

"No." Washu shook her head. "Remember, that would have advanced the technology on this planet instead of slowing it down. I made a time-scan of things like the first radio broadcast. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and especially not in the southern United States."

"Could he have given the Southern generals information about the North's plans?" Ryoko inquired.

"That doesn't seem likely." Washu said. "Even disguised as a human, he couldn't have just walked in to a staff meeting and had them listen. There are always spies and counter-spies and deceptions in a war. He would have no way of proving that his information was legitimate. After all, he couldn't tell them that he got it from the future."

"I guess we're going to have to look for some more clues." Tenchi said.

"Right you are." Washu nodded. "I think our next objective is Washington, D.C. But this time, I want Ayeka to go instead of you, Tenchi. Starting to fade in the middle of a city might just blow your cover."

--------

There was a different feeling to Washington, both Kiyone and Ayeka quickly realized. The sense of drive and purpose that could be felt in capitals such as Tokyo or Jurai Prime was absent. This was a large town rather than a metropolis. There was something else it was not, and that was part of the United States. The Confederate flag could be seen in many places.

Using the coordinates Washu had provided them, Ayeka and Kiyone first made their way to the White House. It was there, but the man at the gate informed them that it was a private residence, and a tour was out of the question. Ayeka tried to wheedle more details from the man, such as when it had been sold, but he courteously but firmly stated that he could not discuss his employer's affairs.

Stymied, Ayeka and Kiyone then made their way to Capitol Hill. Or rather, what should have been Capitol Hill. The building perched on the site bore only a small resemblance to the building they had seen on television news programs before the change.

"Where's the dome?" Kiyone wondered out loud. "And it isn't as big as it should be."

"You're right." Ayeka agreed. "They must be using the building for something different."

Both women looked at the large bronze plaque by the stone steps leading up.

"National Museum of the Second War of Independence," Kiyone read aloud. "That must be what they call the Civil War in the South, now. I've heard that, even back in our timeline, they came up with fancier names for it, like the 'War of Northern Aggression'."

"Well, this looks like the place to go for information, then." said Ayeka.

But the two hit another obstacle. Although the museum was open to the public, neither of the pair had any Confederate money. And the attendants in the lobby were all female, immune to feminine charms. Ayeka and Kiyone had to settle for taking copies of the brochures in the lobby.

"By the way," Kiyone made a last inquiry to the women at the admissions desk, "do you know if it's possible to visit Gettysburg?"

"Gettysburg?" the eldest woman stared blankly. "Where's that?"

"It's in Pennsylvania." Kiyone answered.

"We couldn't tell you anything about places in the Union, ma'am."

". . . Of course." Kiyone said, inwardly grateful for a small clue. "Sorry to have bothered you."

The princess and the GP detective walked back down the steps in silence, waiting until they could reach a spot where they wouldn't be overheard.

"Well, we have a little more information." Kiyone began. "The United States still exists, but it must have been split in half by the Civil War. And whatever Operative B did to change history, he must have done it before the Battle of Gettysburg."

"That was a good idea of yours, Miss Kiyone." Ayeka said. "But I think we had best not try it too many more times."

"It does draw extra attention to us." Kiyone conceded. "All right, let's see what these brochures can tell us."

The pair leafed through what they had obtained from the museum. "Located on the former site of the U.S. capitol, the museum was founded in 1864. Here the ideals of the great struggle against the sectional rule of Abraham Lincoln are preserved." Kiyone read aloud.

"Sectional rule?" Ayeka echoed. "But what about slavery? Doesn't it say anything about that?"

"Good question." Kiyone flipped through the colored brochures. "No . . . there's nothing specific about slavery here. Just a mention of the rights of the States against the Federal government."

"But the Civil War was about slavery, wasn't it?" wondered Ayeka.

"That's what I remember," agreed Kiyone. "Maybe that changed in this timeline as well. We'd better get back to Ryoko and head for home. Maybe Washu can figure out something from this."

--------

" . . . and so, that is all we were able to find out without attracting suspicion." Ayeka bowed to the group in the classic Japanese gesture of apology. "I am deeply sorry."

"Actually, Ayeka, I think you and Kiyone did pretty well." Washu reassured the princess. "You found that the turning point must have been before Gettysburg, putting it in the first half of the Civil War. And we also know that it diminished the importance of slavery in the conflict. You see, Operative B made a key mistake. He found a turning point in history that he thought would be completely obscure to us. But he didn't realize that more has been written about the U.S. Civil War than any other war ever fought on this planet. The information is there, if we can only find it."

"And you're about to tell us you never got around to making a master index of all the data from the Library of Congress." Kiyone commented.

"True, I'm afraid." Washu said. "We'll have to get the information the primitive way. I hope you're all up for lots of reading." She moved aside, and the rest of the group was able to see large stacks of paper piled on what looked like six school desks.

--------

"Can I take a little break, Washu?" Sasami requested. "My eyes are getting sore."

"All right, Sasami." Washu replied. "After all, it's only fair that Mihoshi shouldn't be the only one who gets to rest." The red-headed scientist glanced at Mihoshi, who was sleeping soundly enough so that drool was running onto the pages beneath her head.

"Really!" Ayeka said sharply. "If she's not going to read her part, she can at least avoid spoiling the papers for the rest of us." She lifted the blonde's head off the printed matter beneath with a bit more force than was necessary. "And this doesn't even have anything to do with Washington," Ayeka continued, looking at the dampened pages, "it's just one of Lincoln's speeches. The Emancipation Proclamation."

"That's funny," Tenchi commented. "I've got the Emancipation Proclamation over here."

"But Mihoshi was working on early 1863," Washu pointed out. "And Tenchi's studying late 1862."

"Now that you mention it," Ayeka said thoughtfully, "I've got a mention of emancipation even earlier. I think it was one of the reasons why Britain and France never recognized the Confederacy."

Tenchi bent his head back over the stack of papers in front of him. "Here we are. My copy is the first version that Lincoln announced after the battle of Antietam. Mihoshi must have the formal proclamation taking effect at the beginning of 1863."

"Antietam?" Kiyone's head had come up. "That was known as Sharpsburg in the South -- and wasn't that in Maryland?"

Washu worked her holo-keyboard. "Yes, that's right."

"Washington D.C. is between Maryland and Virginia." Kiyone pointed out. "They were both slave states, but Maryland stayed in the Union. If the South had won the battle of Antietam, Maryland might have gone over to the Confederacy, and the Union government would have had to evacuate Washington. Otherwise, they'd have been surrounded."

"That's right!" Washu expanded her holographic map. "Okay, Ayeka, what does your material say about emancipation?"

"Lincoln proposed it at a cabinet meeting in July of 1862." Ayeka read from her pile. "But, Secretary of War Stanton argued that they had to issue it after a Union victory. Otherwise, it would look like a desperation move instead of a an act of moral principle."

"And it took two months for that victory to arrive." Washu concluded.

"So if Lee won the Battle of Antietam--" Kiyone began.

"They'd call it Sharpsburg," Ryoko jumped in.

"--or if it was never fought," Kiyone glared at Ryoko, " and Lee maneuvered around McClellan and took Baltimore, or -- what's the capital of Maryland?"

"Annapolis." Washu spoke up.

"Then, Lincoln wouldn't have been able to proclaim Emancipation." Kiyone concluded.

"And England and France might have recognized the Confederacy, claiming the war wasn't about slavery yet." Ayeka added. "That would be why those museum brochures only mentioned 'sectional rule'."

"Yes, that would have done it." Washu nodded. "Tenchi, Antietam was in your time period. How could the South have won it?"

Tenchi pulled out the relevant papers from his pile. "Antietam, also referred to as Sharpsburg, September 17th, 1862. Let's see . . . The bloodiest one-day battle of the entire Civil War. Commanded by Robert E. Lee on the Confederate side and George McClellan on the Union side. Lee had divided his army in order to capture Harper's Ferry. McClellan's men found a copy of Lee's orders, and he moved to attack the largest part of Lee's forces--"

"Hold it!" said Washu. "Are you telling me McClellan got hold of Lee's plan?"

"Yes, that's what it says here." Tenchi nodded.

"How, exactly?" Kiyone was just as excited as Washu. "A raid on Lee's headquarters?"

Tenchi searched through the papers in front of him, while Washu worked her holo-keyboard like a pianist giving a virtuoso performance. Washu won by a nose. "I found it. 'Lee sent his orders out to his sub-commanders. A careless southern officer wrapped a copy of the orders around three cigars in an envelope, and then somehow mislaid it near Frederick, Maryland. It was found by a Union patrol on September 13, 1863.' "

"That's got to be it!" Ryoko exclaimed. "Our renegade Wau must have disguised himself as a Southern soldier, and stopped the order from being lost. He probably just picked it up and gave it back to whoever dropped it."

Kiyone's eyes widened. "Of course! No killing, no crime of any kind in fact. Nothing that anyone would think of as unusual. Pretty smooth, I have to admit."

"A pity your career of piracy wasn't as subtle." Ayeka commented to Ryoko.

"I wouldn't be so sure, princess." Ryoko gave a knowing grin. "Not everything I did was meant to boost my reputation."

"Just a moment," Tenchi objected. "Didn't you say that there would have been suspicion if someone had just showed up and told the southern generals what the Union plans were? Wouldn't General McClellan have been equally suspicious?"

"You have a point there." Washu frowned, and searched her holo-keyboard again. After several seconds, her eyes widened in amazement. "I don't believe it! General Lee's secretary--they called him an adjutant in those days--had been a paymaster in the Union army before the war. One of the officers who brought the order to McClellan had been a teller at the bank the adjutant had used. And so, he was able to verify the signature on the order! Now I'm certain we're on the right track. Operative B didn't do anything unusual: he removed something unusual. That's why there was no trace of disruption in the timeline. Clever, but not enough to baffle me."

"Boasting aside," Kiyone interjected, "what are we going to do to get history back the way it's supposed to be?"

"Well, we don't dare interfere with Operative B in 1862." said Washu.

"Why not?" Ryoko was eager for another fight.

"Because he was killed here. There's too much danger of a time paradox." Washu held up a finger. "Fortunately, the greatest scientific genius in the universe can figure out another way."

"And what way is that, Lady Washu?" Ayeka said hastily, just as Washu-puppets A & B were starting to pop up from behind Washu's shoulders.

Washu frowned a moment, but the puppets went back down. "We'll fabricate our own copy of the orders. Then, one of us will go back to 1862 just before the Union soldiers are due to come by, and leave it for them to find."

"A forgery?" Kiyone looked highly skeptical. "But how can we make something that won't be spotted as a fake? Remember, someone has to verify the signature of Lee's adjutant."

"An excellent question." Washu typed a few commands into her holo-keyboard. "Thanks to my researches on the history of this planet's communications, I can reproduce any type of paper going all the way back to Egyptian papyrus. And as for duplicating the writing . . ." A holographic picture appeared in front of the group, ". . . we'll just use the image of the orders preserved in the Library of Congress."

And this time, when the puppets popped up and applauded, nobody complained.

( To be continued . . . )


	3. Journey to the Past

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" were created by Kajishima Masaki and Hitoshi Okuda, and are Copyright AIC and Pioneer LDC. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

**Three Cigars, Chap. 3**

Once again there was the sound of an explosion in the lab, followed by a small cloud of smoke. Moments later, a sheepish-looking Washu came into the main lab area with soot patches on her clothes and face. Ayeka looked around in amazement, for this time Mihoshi was safely playing checkers with Sasami.

"Umm . . . I think we may have a little problem with the cigars." Washu tapped her index fingers together.

"A problem?" Tenchi said anxiously. "But I thought your transmuter could duplicate almost any substance."

"Actually, biological things like plant leaves are remarkably complex." returned Washu. "Fortunately I am the universe's greatest scientific genius. The trouble is the tobacco leaves have to be aged as well. Green tobacco would be spotted immediately. I was trying to speed up the molecular motion to age the tobacco, and, well, it didn't work."

"How about that?" Ryoko smirked. "Our super-genius beaten by a handful of leaves."

"Well, if this planet were rational, they wouldn't stick those leaves into their mouths and burn them!" Washu retorted. A vein throbbed in Tenchi's forehead, but he decided not to say anything.

"Miss Ryoko," Ayeka spoke up, "it would be more useful for you to think of another plan instead of gloating."

"Oh, but I already have, princess." Ryoko looked even more self-satisfied. There's a major department store in Okayama with a tobacco and liquor section. They've probably even got imported American cigars."

"There's a major problem with that, but a non-scientist wouldn't be expected to see it." Washu was clearly getting a little of her own back. "Those cigars will be from the altered timeline. As the original timeline is restored, they'll cease to exist."

"Oh." Ryoko's mood was dampened. "Well, how long before that happens?"

"It depends on how quickly the order is rushed to General McClellan." Washu rubbed her chin in thought. "I'd say a little less than an hour."

"That should be enough." Kiyone said. "By that time, everybody should be too excited about having Lee's plans to care about a few cigars. I know if I got a map to the hiding place of a major wanted criminal," she gave another look at Ryoko, " I wouldn't care if it were wrapped around a bottle of sake."

"Depends." Ryoko said thoughtfully. "What brand of saké are we talking about?"

"I believe Miss Kiyone has a point," Ayeka chimed in. "As the orders go up the chain of command, the higher-ranking officers will assume someone in the lower ranks purloined the cigars. But it won't be considered important by then."

"You'd know about blaming the lower ranks, eh, princess?" Ryoko commented.

"Hmm." Washu thought it over, clearly not liking what she came up with. "I guess it's the only way. It won't make Sasami's job any harder, because the timeline won't change until the envelope is found."

"But how are we going to buy them?" Tenchi pointed out. "We don't have any Imperial currency."

"Who said anything about buying them?" Ryoko's smirk was wider than ever.

"Ryoko -- !" protested Tenchi and Kiyone together.

"It's for an emergency situation," Ryoko pointed out, "and we aren't going to keep them -- there won't be any record of them eventually."

"I suppose that's true." Tenchi admitted reluctantly.

"Okay, then. I'll need a look-out." Ryoko said. "Who'd like to come with me?"

"I need to help get Sasami ready." Ayeka declined. Privately, she was not anxious to put herself in any situation where Ryoko could give her orders.

"One time as an associate of criminals was plenty, thank you." Kiyone was also reluctant.

"Oh -- pick me!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "This will be a great chance to study the techniques of a notorious thief."

"Ahhh -- all right." Ryoko accepted Mihoshi's offer less than graciously. "But -- I don't care if the building falls on top of me -- you are not to give me first aid."

--------

"Stop, thieves!" yelled the leader of the three tough-looking men.

"Sorry, you're not my type!" Ryoko shouted back. Grabbing Mihoshi's arm, she scrambled up the stairs. "Didn't you see them come in??" she demanded.

"You distinctly said you didn't want to hear a peep from me unless I saw police, or store guards!" The blonde shot back.

Ryoko's free hand was on the opposite side from Mihoshi, so she settled for smacking herself in the forehead. "Well, how was I supposed to know the Yakuza would consider this place their turf?" She cursed inwardly. She'd pocketed four cigars (it never hurt to have a spare), but the thugs were blocking their exit route. Using her powers would raise far too many questions. Unless -- she took advantage of the darkness of the store after hours.

Ryoko reached the top of the stairs and dashed to the right, with Mihoshi in tow. She deliberately tugged the blonde a little wide around her next turn, and was rewarded with a stumble over a rack of overcoats. Using her strength, Ryoko prevented Mihoshi from falling all the way, and kept them going towards the Housewares section. The three pursuers weren't as lucky, and oaths rang out as the men fell over each other.

"Keep them distracted for a moment!" Ryoko whispered in Mihoshi's ear, and phased through the floor.

Mihoshi scrambled in the direction she had been going for a few more seconds, but in the near-darkness she inevitably took a wrong turn. She found herself cornered in a display of kitchen appliances. She turned to face the three pursuers. "Uh, fellows, you know you're not really supposed to be here either, right?"

"Where is the other woman?" demanded the leader, ignoring her remark.

By this time Ryoko had re-appeared a short distance behind the thugs. The cyan-haired woman gave a silent nod to Mihoshi. "Look behind you," the blonde said.

"Do you take us for fools?" roared the leader, and threw a punch at Mihoshi.

But the GP detective was not an easy target. Part of it was combat training, and part was the sheer unpredictability of her movements. The first blow missed, then the second. The third struck the side of a cabinet that Mihoshi had dodged behind. Enraged, the Yakuza seized a mixer from the shelf of appliances and hurled it. Mihoshi barely managed to duck, but the electrical cord caught on a rack next to her, swinging the mixer in a circle. With a heavy thud, it connected with the man's head, and down he went.

Mihoshi looked hastily around for the other two thugs. But they had gone down even before their leader, and behind their slumped forms stood Ryoko, twirling a heavy iron skillet. "Wow, Ayeka was right!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "You _are_ dangerous with a frying pan!"

With a great deal of mental effort, Ryoko unclenched her fingers from the skillet and set it down gently on a counter. _Tenchi wouldn't like it_, she kept repeating to herself.

--------

"I'm getting really nervous about this." Sasami ventured. She looked unhappily at a strand of her hair, which had been dyed chestnut brown.

"Think of yourself as an actress in the make-up chair," soothed Ayeka. "After all, you're going to play a very important role. And here is your costume." The older princess held up a dark blue girl's dress, along with a red cloak and hood.

"Are you sure that's what they wore in 1862?" Sasami asked.

"Close enough." Washu grinned. "Trust me, they'll think it's cute."

"I have to admit I'm worried too," said Tenchi. "Shouldn't an adult be doing this?"

"No, Sasami is the best choice." Washu replied. "It's going to be a war zone, but the Union and Confederate soldiers should be chivalrous enough to let an eight-year old girl pass. A single woman at that place and time would attract much more attention." She turned to the rest of the group. "And I don't think Sasami is less mature than any of you girls."

Ryoko's eyes narrowed, and Ayeka folded her arms. Mihoshi giggled.

Washu faced Sasami again. "Ready for your instant southern accent?"

"I guess so." Sasami didn't sound at all confident, but that had never stopped Washu before. The red-head pressed the appropriate control. The wired head-band Sasami was wearing lit up for a few moments.

"There, now," Washu said, "that didn't hurt a bit, did it?"

"Well, no," Sasami said hesitantly, "but suddenly I'm hungry for . . . what are 'grits', anyway?"

--------

"All right." Washu checked off the lines on her holographic display. "You both remember the map of the area, and the drop-off and rendezvous points?"

"We remember." Ryoko said grimly from her chair. "At least this time, we won't have to worry about radar."

"Sasami, you've double-checked the basket and the envelope?" Washu asked.

"Yes, Washu, it's all there." Sasami was now dressed in the Victorian-era outfit. She looked equally uncomfortable in her chair, even though Ryo-Ohki was riding on her shoulder.

"Good. Stand by for time displacement!" Washu slid the controls to the highest point, and the two chairs began to travel faster and faster in their circular track. Tenchi and the rest watched anxiously as the energies from Washu's invention began to crackle.

"I'd forgotten . . . how much I . . . hate this part!" Ryoko managed to get out.

"_Mmmyyaa!!_" agreed Ryo-Ohki. And then the two girls and the cabbit blurred and vanished.

--------

Things started going wrong with the boom of the cannon. For a heart-stopping moment Sasami thought it was shooting towards her. She gave a sigh of relief when the sound of the shell dwindled in another direction. Still, it meant that the Confederate camp was still very much inhabited and active. She had to get away -- if she were caught with Lee's orders, the Northern troops would never find them. And, she might even be shot as a spy.

Keeping behind trees as much as she could, Sasami hurried away from the sound of the cannon. Several more blasts came from behind her, and then thankfully stopped. Sasami spotted a grassy slope with several trees on it. Perhaps she could get a peek at the Confederate camp from behind one of the trees.

Although it was still morning, it was already a warm late-summer day. Now Sasami was glad for the cloak and hood, which kept the sun from her head. As she went up the slope, she heard the whinny of horses from the direction of the camp. Perhaps the Southerners were getting ready to move, and the shots had been their way of unloading the cannons before entraining them. She fervently hoped so, since then she might have time to run to the abandoned camp and plant the vital envelope.

But the next thing she heard told her she was out of time. Over the far side of the hill came a song, sung by several men in chorus.

"We are coming, we are coming, our Union to restore,  
We are coming, Father Abraham, three hundred thousand more!"

Northern troops! Sasami's stomach seemed to turn a somersault. They also would consider her a spy if they found the order on her. Even worse, they might believe it was simply a hoax, and not deliver it to General McClellan. Sasami made a quick decision. Taking the envelope out of her basket, she placed it in the grass, so that it would look as if it had been dropped by a passing rider. Then she scurried away, looking for a path that would lead her towards the approaching men.

A thankfully short distance on the other side of the hill, she found one. She stepped onto it, took a moment to try to get her beating heart to slow down, and then started a moderate-paced walk as though it were an ordinary day for her. In just over a minute, a group of four men wearing blue uniforms came into sight around a bend.

"Good morning to you-all." Sasami called out in a friendly voice.

"Good morning, little lady." The man in front replied. Sasami saw that he had three stripes on either shoulder of his uniform. "I'm Sergeant John Bloss, 27th Indiana. And what might your name be?"

"How do you do, Sergeant," Sasami was now close enough so that she came to a stop to continue the conversation. She remembered to curtsy instead of bow. "I'm Sandy Beecher."

"Beecher. . . " One of the other men spoke up. "Any kin to Harriet Beecher Stowe?"

"Who's that?" asked a third man, sparing Sasami the need to ask herself.

"Why, the lady who wrote 'Uncle Tom's Cabin', o' course." the second man replied.

"No sir, I'm not." Sasami answered the sergeant's question. "But my family's good Union people."

"I'm real glad to hear that." the sergeant nodded. "But what are you doing here by yourself?"

"I'm bringing vittles to my grandma near New Market, sir." Sasami mentally thanked Washu for her cover story, and lifted the cloth to show the contents of the basket.

"That looks mighty good." the second man commented. Sasami looked up anxiously, afraid the soldiers would take her food. A moment later she realized that it wouldn't matter, since there was no grandmother who needed them. But she needed to act as though there were.

"No need to be afraid, Miss Beecher." the sergeant said kindly. "We're no thieves, and we have our own rations."

"Speaking o' which, Sergeant," the second man spoke again, "we've had nothing since before sun-up."

Sasami saw her chance. "If you-all need to rest a spell, there's a field with some shade trees just over yonder." She pointed in the direction to where she had deposited the vital envelope.

"Careful, Sergeant," the fourth man spoke for the first time, "she could be sending us into a trap."

"Oh, no, sir." Sasami protested truthfully. "I heard cannon from the Southerners, but it was at least a mile further on. And the slope faces towards them, so you'll be able to see them if they come this way."

"Cannon fire, you say?" The sergeant's face took on a look like a hunting dog scenting game. "That confirms the Rebs are camped in or near Frederick. We'll have a look. Much obliged for your assistance, Miss Beecher. You take care on the way to your grandma, all right?"

"I surely will, Sergeant." Sasami waved as the four soldiers resumed their march.

--------

About half an hour later, Sasami was in deep woods, looking anxiously for Ryoko. She had walked past dozens of other Union troops on her way to the secluded area. Clearly the Northern army was on the move, and the wisest thing was to get out of the area quickly.

"Miss me, kid?" came the ex-space-pirate's voice, and Ryoko floated down from the leafy branches of a tree.

"Yes, I did!" Sasami dashed over and actually hugged Ryoko.

"Did you drop off the envelope?" Ryoko hugged back. She didn't want to show it, but she had been worried for the little princess.

"Yes, but not in the main Southern camp." Sasami answered. "I'm pretty sure the Northerners will find it, though, because there's lots of them marching this way. Let's get out of here!"

To Sasami's great relief, their return to Japan went smoothly. Ryoko returned them to Ryo-Ohki, waiting in orbit above Maryland. With no need to hide from radar, they were back over Japan in a few minutes. Ryoko maneuvered into the exact coordinates Washu had specified, and in moments they could sense the time-shifting as Washu returned them to the time they had left. Now Ryo-Ohki had to fly stealthily again, but under Ryoko's experienced piloting, they re-entered the atmosphere and were back to the valley of the Masaki Shrine in a matter of minutes.

Not long after that, the family was re-united in the living room of the restored house. Washu had checked Tenchi carefully for any time instability, and Kiyone had confirmed that Washu's crystal was gone from the cave.

"Is everything back the way it was?" Sasami asked, hardly daring to believe the danger was over.

"A very good question." Washu replied. "We've changed history, no doubt about it, and everything in this local area matches with the original time-line. But it's hard to be sure the time-line has been restored completely." Washu snapped her fingers. "Wait! I know a great way to check. And after all, we should all get to go on one field trip."

--------

The National Mall had seen its share of unusual visitors, so the group of seven apparently Japanese tourists did not attract extraordinary attention. There were a few envious glances at the only male in the group, and a few more stares at the variety of hair colors and styles. But only one person actually approached the group and inquired where they got their hair done, and Ayeka deflected the question with the name of an exclusive salon in Japan she'd had her eye on. No one thought to wonder why a party of young Japanese would walk directly to one particular structure, ignoring all the others, with anxious looks on every face.

The expressions changed as Tenchi's band climbed the stone steps to the entrance. All seven gazed in relief and satisfaction at the immense seated statue.

"You did it, kid!" Washu reached around Sasami's shoulders and hugged the little princess. Her eyes went to the inscription carved above the statue, and she read it aloud.

"IN THIS TEMPLE

AS IN THE HEARTS OF THE PEOPLE

FOR WHOM HE SAVED THE UNION

THE MEMORY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN

IS ENSHRINED FOREVER"

T h e E n d

Author's afterward: As my readers will have guessed, the background for this story is historically accurate. A copy of Lee's Special Orders No. 191, the "Lost Order", was in fact found in an envelope with three cigars by four men of the 27th Indiana, led by First Sergeant John M. Bloss, in an open field. The document was verified by Captain Samuel E. Pittman, a former teller at the Michigan State Bank . What would have happened if the orders hadn't been lost and found is something we can never be certain about, but historians generally agree that late summer 1862 was the South's "high-water mark" of the Civil War, and the British government was seriously considering recognizing the Confederacy.

Strangely, although the names of all of the men involved in finding it and rushing it to General McClellan are on record, the man who lost the order in the first place has never been confirmed. None of the couriers carrying the orders to Lee's sub-commanders ever admitted to losing their copy. Also unknown is what happened to the three cigars.


End file.
